This French word means “rediscovery”. It has been used for the
past forty years as the name to designate a very beautiful and extraordinary
apostolate to married couples, who are experiencing difficulty in their
marriage to the point of being on the verge of breakup.
I spent the past weekend at the annual international meeting of
people involved in Retrouvaille. These are couples who, having themselves
experienced marital discord and found healing of their marriages through
Retrouvaille, are now passionately committed to helping others. The event drew
together nearly 600 people from around the globe! Having begun as a small
initiative in Hull, Quebec, Retrouvallie has since grown to a large
international apostolate operating in Canada, the United States, Central & South America, Africa,
Europe, the Caribbean, and the Western Pacific.
Over these past few days, I found myself wondering about the
stories of the people. They’ve all come through their own experiences of
heartache, pain and fear, and yet now they know healing and joy. The question
that I’ve been pondering is, “What made the difference in their lives? What was
the turning point?”
Sunday’s Gospel offers, I believe, the answer. In sum, these
couples accepted the invitation.
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| From @daniellemurrayyoga on Instagram. |
What invitation? The parable of Jesus, recounted by St. Matthew (Mt
22:1-14) is that of a king who invites everyone to the wedding banquet of his
son. That would be quite the invitation to receive!! Yet, remarkably, it is met
with indifference, refusal and even hostility. This stands for the invitation
issued throughout the history of humanity by God the Father to be with him in a
communion of love and joy. Such a communion was often portrayed as a wedding
banquet (e.g. first reading, Isaiah 25:6-10). No greater invitation is
imaginable!!! Moreover, God rendered such communion fully possible by the gift
of his Son, Jesus; hence the image in the parable of the wedding banquet for
the king’s son. But that invitation has, in fact, been turned down by many.
When the parable continues by recounting the king’s enraged response of
destruction, it is making the point that, while acceptance of the invitation
leads to unparalleled joy, the refusal of God’s invitation leads inevitably to
the opposite - a decimated life.
By God’s grace, couples whose choices or mistakes may have arisen
from a refusal of God’s invitation were led to a moment of acceptance, that is
to say, to a decision to allow God in to do for them what only He can do.
That’s what made the difference! The invitation came to them by the witness of
others who had already walked a road similar to theirs, and the decision to
accept it was encouraged by the witness of healing and happiness on display in
Retrouvaille.
What about the mysterious ending of the parable? A man arrives at
the banquet without a proper wedding garment and is thrown out by the king.
Acceptance must be accompanied by appropriate “clothing”, which is to say that
acceptance is good but insufficient. To accept the invitation to God’s kingdom
means also the determination to don the requisite attire of humility,
compassion, love, mercy, forgiveness, justice and so on. In the more particular
context of a marriage needing healing, accepting God’s invitation to joy also
demands a “re-clothing,” i.e. an exchange of the soiled clothing of hurtful
attitudes and destructive behaviour for the immaculate vesture of
self-sacrifice and self-gift.
I spent the weekend with couples who accepted that God-given
invitation and who strive daily to “dress properly” in consequence. Their joy
was palpable and contagious. Retrouvaille is a great gift to the Church and a
much-needed apostolate for our world.
